If a match asks for money, pause and check the request independently. Do not let a marriage proposal, affectionate messages or pressure from a supposed relative decide a payment. Shaadi.com's safety page puts it simply: no genuine person will ask you for money, even in an emergency. Tinder's safety guidance says the same, and adds that such transfers can be nearly impossible to reverse.
Already paid? Call 1930 at once and report at cybercrime.gov.in, as the government's cyber-safety guidance urges. Then call your bank on the number printed on your card or its official website. Start reporting before collecting a perfect set of screenshots, and ask someone you trust to help organise the evidence.
The stories behind the money request
An impressive profile deserves ordinary checks. Many of these frauds start with someone who says they live or work abroad, or who is about to move back to India. Tinder warns about matches who claim to be stuck somewhere else and ask for help to get home. Treat a job title, a uniform in a photo or an overseas address as something to verify, not a reason to skip the checks below.
The gift-parcel version starts with a promise of something valuable from overseas. Then a caller who says they are from Indian Customs demands charges to release it. Delhi Police describes this pattern, including fake customs receipts and demands that continue for weeks. Do not pay because the match confirms the caller's story.
Travel stories need the same caution. The same Delhi Police page describes fake airline tickets, followed by a call claiming the traveller is held by customs and needs money. It advises never depositing money on the fraudster's instructions, even a small amount, and cross-checking claims with customs, airport authorities or the embassy. Find those contacts yourself; never use a number or agent the match supplies.
An emergency request may arrive after weeks of friendly conversation. CERT-In describes dating scammers who build an emotional connection and then invent a crisis, such as a medical emergency, to ask for money. Offer to wait while the situation is checked. Do not send money or give access to your accounts.
Another match may offer to teach you trading or build your future together through crypto. Tinder advises never making investments or opening accounts with someone you matched with, or through websites they recommend. Keep your partner search separate from investment decisions. Do not install a trading app or transfer funds because a match promises unusual returns.
Warning signs worth acting on
Shaadi.com's list of scam signs includes becoming serious very quickly, inconsistent details, pushing the chat off the site, asking for money, gifts that can be claimed only after a payment, and avoiding introductions to family and friends. Slow down and check if someone:
- Pushes for commitment before you have checked basic details.
- Tells a story about their job, city or family that changes when you ask ordinary questions.
- Keeps avoiding a video call or an agreed meeting.
- Needs a payment before a gift, visit or promised plan can go ahead.
- Makes continued affection depend on your sending money.
You do not need to prove fraud before saying no. Say: “I do not send money to people I am getting to know online.” Keep that boundary even if they offer to repay you or ask for a smaller amount.
Check the person, not just the profile
Arrange an ordinary video call before planning a meeting. Tinder calls a phone or video call a useful screening tool and warns about anyone who will not meet or talk on video. One good call is not full verification, so keep going with the other checks.
Run a reverse image search on the profile photos, for example with Google Lens. Look closely at results that show another name or a different life story. If nothing comes up, that is not clearance: keep checking.
The Ministry of Home Affairs matrimonial-safety brochure advises a full background check: try to contact the person's workplace, family, friends, relatives or neighbours. Find the employer's official website yourself and ask through its published contact channel. Anything you cannot confirm stays unconfirmed.
Be careful with “family members” introduced by the match, too. A parent's or sibling's account that the match brings into the chat is not independent confirmation. Video and voice can also be faked, so check family details through someone you can reach separately.
Meet in a busy public place, arrange your own transport and tell family or a friend where you are going, as both Tinder and the MHA brochure advise. Agree a check-in time, and leave if you are pressured to go somewhere private. Our online dating safety checklist covers the rest.
If you have sent money
Stop further transfers and call your bank straight away. Ask what can still be stopped or traced, and get a complaint reference. Explain clearly whether you made the transfer yourself after being deceived or noticed a debit you did not make. Neither guarantees a refund, but speed helps.
Then complete the complaint at cybercrime.gov.in and follow the instructions you get on 1930. Our guide to the first hour after online fraud covers this in detail. Have these ready:
- Each payment's amount, date and transaction reference (UTR), and the bank, wallet or app used.
- The recipient's account number or UPI ID, payment requests and receipts.
- The profile link or ID, the name shown, phone numbers and email addresses.
- Chat history, threats, call logs and any documents they sent you.
Keep the original records and a short timeline, and save every complaint acknowledgement in one place. Do not delete chats to clean up your phone. If you shared passwords or OTPs, change those passwords and tell the bank exactly what was exposed.
Report the profile on the platform as well. Shaadi.com has “Report Misuse” and “Block” options on each member's page, and BharatMatrimony asks users to report anyone who asks them to transfer money or harasses them. Include the profile ID and your evidence. This is in addition to the bank and cybercrime reports, not instead of them.
If a chat or video call turns into blackmail
Delhi Police explains that many sextortion cases begin on dating apps and matrimonial sites: an attractive fake profile chats normally for a few days, persuades the victim to share intimate photos or videos, then demands money. Do not pay and do not keep negotiating. The government's advice is not to pay or engage, to preserve evidence and to report. If you have already paid, stop further payments and follow the steps above.
Save the threats, account names and any links where content was posted, then block the account. Report it to the platform and file a complaint at cybercrime.gov.in or your nearest police station. Delhi Police's complaint steps ask for a short account of what happened, screenshots of the profile and messages, and bank statements if money moved. Ask someone you trust to sit with you.
If you are an adult and still have the image or video, StopNCII.org can help. You must be the person in the image, over 18 now and when it was taken. It creates a digital fingerprint (hash) on your device, so the image itself is not uploaded. Participating platforms then look for matches and remove them if they break their rules. It works only on those platforms, so keep reporting elsewhere too.
Helping a family member without blame
Start with: “I am glad you told me. Let us stop any more payments and sort this out together.” Avoid ridicule, threats or arguments about why they trusted the person. Ask what was sent, whether money moved and whether the threats are still coming. Do not ask for intimate details.
Help in practical ways: gather receipts, sit with them while they report and help write the timeline. Ask before reading private conversations. Keep them in charge rather than taking their passwords or telling the wider family. If they are still unsure the match is fake, suggest pausing all payments while you check one specific claim together.
Read our romance-scam guide for more warning signs. If you are looking for a partner online, Amora points you to real dating and matrimony apps, and every suggestion comes with these safety guides.
